NEWS PART 5

Statistics show that 2009 was the year when McDonald`s profits in Greece increased by 10%. More people tend to choose cheaper food.. Altogether there are 33 McDonalds restaurants in GReece. It seems that there are more McDonalds in new York City than in Greece. If in New york the number of McDonals would be decreased by 80%, then people would more often visit the fast food restaurant. People would go online and search the web for the restaurant location, they would start buying McDonalds gift certificates, they would stand in long lines in order to get the happy meal.


In Moscow bed bugs quickly eliminate cock roaches.

Extermination firms have stated that more and more people face the problem of bed bugs. The long established empire of cockroaches finally comes to an end. Soon less people will be buying slippers because the new enemy is on horizon. Bed bugs hide more efficiently than cockroaches, that makes it harder to kill them with slippers. Bed bugs are like dark super heroes, they come out only at night, they suck your blood while you are asleep, and then they take small dumps on your white sheets. Cockroaches are more civilized, and they are satisfied with bread crumbs and tiny sugar cubes. Bed bugs want blood. Next twilight film will be about bed bugs. They are the tiny vampires that leave red marks on our skins.





Face transplant operation in Spain



This is one of the first cases in which one face with all it`s elements was transplanted onto another`s person skull. The surgery lasted twenty four hours and took place in the city- Barcelona. Nose, lips, muscles, and a part of the throat
were removed from a dead person and then were attached to another alive person. The surgery took place in the end of the March, but only now surgeons decided to spread the news. Those naughty surgeons they never sleep, they rarely eat, their best friends are their scalpels. They do miracles. in couple of years this kind of surgery will be simplified and done with much less complications. As a result people will start trading faces. Just like teenagers constantly change skins for their ipods people will start changing their faces. These are some major news for women who never received any attention from men. Even fat chicks will have a chance to look pretty. The alcohol consumption will fall significantly, people will no longer have to wear beer goggles. The downside is that more car accidents will take place, men will stop paying attention to the road , they will twist their necks desperately trying to capture the beauty. Cosmetic companies and photo editing software will have to declare bankruptcy. And finally hot women who are in scarce minority and who enjoy the comforts of being in a such scarce lot, will stop getting so much attention and praise!!



Archeologists constantly discover how prehistoric people looked like.


So recently some group of Russian archeologists have gained more details about how first humans looked like. You can see from the picture that they didn`t look all that sexy!!! It looks like this woman could really use a sun block!! Maybe a shampoo or soap too... Maybe back in that ancient time women like this one were considered to be sex symbols,, after all her breasts are not that bad. On the picture it seems that this woman is offended by something or someone.. back in that time women had no choice but to use rocks,, they couldn`t communicate yet.. men of our time complain that women often start pointless arguments.. However, if men would go back in those old times there would be no speech arguments, that woman could not say "you are real asshole John!!" She could only pick up some heavy and sharp rock and then throw it right at your face John!!



Look these are the caves that they used... Pretty romantic isn`t it?? This is a luxury condo that couples used to live in. They never had roof-leaking problems, they never had a desire to kill the neighbor`s barking dog. The only real problem was stepping into each others increments due to a lack of light.


In Oregon a hundred years old woman has bought ipad.


This old lady is now technologically more equipped than many of our young people. Why did she buy an Ipad? Some source says that she has a glaucoma and hence cant write and read,, but now with touchscreen iPad she can do both of these things. i think the real reason she bought this gadget is to check check her facebook, myspace, and twitter accounts.. old people don`t work , they have too much time on their hands, as a result they become active web browsers.. some of them become hackers they try to get access to online food coupons...other remain low key, they enter chat rooms and claim to be an eighteen year old living in NYC.. that is why some chat users take so long to respond,, imagine how long it takes a 100 year old granny to type -"Nothing much, chilling"

photo discussion part 1

Look at this woman... She came to a photo shoot right after having lunch at the real Chinese restaurant. There were no napkins in that restaurant so she forgot to wipe her face. Or maybe she thought that it would be very original idea to attach frog legs to her jaw. Some women make their lips bigger, other make their teeth whiter,, this lady did not want to be like anybody else.





You know how kids buy these shoes that have a wheel and kids use it to roll on the ground.Well this model of shoes is a later invention that is made specifically for the mothers of those rolling kids. Now both mother and her kid could roll through the streets of new York.




The modern 2010 was just "too much" for this woman. She couldnt take anymore dish washing, she got tired of routines and decided to start a brand new life. She no longer has a period, she no longer wears a bra!!! At this right moment it seems that she is thinking "I made the right decision, at least i dont have to wear high heels anymore!!""







Seems like someone had switched this girl`s diet pills with steroid pills. Her hands are HUGEEE mann!
Or maybe this is has nothing to do with steroids.. you know how researchers always point out that masturbation often leads to unpleasant consequences.This girl over did it. or maybe this girl was raised by a feminist mother. When some men tries to hit on her she says "WHAD YA SAY PUNK?? YOU GOTTA PROBLEM PARTNER??"'
"I MA HUSTLE HOMIE"





Marvin was different from most of the kids.. Since his early years he loved to do different things to his skin. nothing interested him more than his skin. He also wanted to be like fish. He regretted the fact that he was born out of human womb and not fish womb. his life philosophy was simple: poking holes bring peace and harmony

wrestle mania in parliament

Why do people become politicians in Ukraine? The answer is to satisfy two desires at the same time. One desire that men so strongly express - is desire to argue. Some men love to argue, they argue even more than women argue. Most of these men do politics. After some time they obtain an "arguing/debating" skill. Some are real professionals , others are less skillful. Politicians in more developed countries usually know the established rules of the game,, and they know that some border lines are better not be crossed. In Ukraine, politicians have limited understanding of the borders and lines. advanced western nations are considered to be more democratic and in most ways more liberal... still they are all jealous about the freedoms that Ukrainian politicians enjoy. In Ukrainian parliament, members can bring eggs and smoke bombs.. if one party sees that the number of votes during the voting process changes not in desired way, party members check their arsenals... and armed with chicken eggs they open fire...members of other party which are satisfied with the growing number of votes, take out umbrellas and block that rain of eggs.




The first army then decides to puzzle the second. They set off their smoke bombs. The goal is reached, the second army seems to be lost in confusion..



Now that the second party has been tricked into confusion it will have to face the harsh attack by the first party. This is the second desire that many men share. They want to express their feelings in the physical way. And as you can see below these re not the feelings of love and sympathy.

PirateSS

"Somalia's pirates are far from defeated. On Apr. 18, they pulled off one of the most ambitious captures yet, seizing three Thai fishing trawlers far out into the Indian Ocean. The vessels had 77 crewmen on board and were 1,200 miles away from the Somali coast — making the hijacking the farthest off-shore heist ever conducted by Somali pirates as well as the largest in terms of numbers of hostages taken."

Wow these Somali Pirates are keep on coming.."Can`t stop, wont stop, I rip and I rhyme..." They are the real gangstas.. All these rappers that rhyme how they used to sell crack or how they try to make a dollar out of fifty cents suck ass!! try hijacking a huge cargo ship that has 80 sailors and that is located twelve hundred miles away from shore.. That requires a skill,, and a special talent.. It turns out that Somali folks have that unique gift. You know how people say that we all have some hidden gift or talent??

"At the peak of the patrols, there are between 35 to 40 warships plying the waters off Somalia and safeguarding commercial vessels transiting through the Gulf of Aden. Given that Somalia's 1,900 mile-long coastline is continental Africa's longest, there are plenty of holes for pirate "motherships" — retrofitted fishing vessels that tow along smaller skiffs and often carry large reserves of fuel as well as GPS equipment — to putter into the deep sea of the Indian Ocean."
Time Magazine.



Somali pirates always use small fishing boats..that is why it is so hard to catch them.. Notice how in our age you don`t need to invest billions in order to take out billions. All you need is an old fishing boat, couple of AK-47s, and a GPS system. Have you ever seen a real cow or horse in a meadow??, these big animals are always annoyed by the flies around them. Western cultures are big and developed, yet they can`t fight off small flies. These flies bite often and their bites do hurt!!!

too much choice/expectations

So i just watched this video about having too much choice in the modern time.. The idea is simple, you go to supermarket because you want to buy some sauce for your pasta..You find the right isle, and you feel perplexed. There are so many sauces, so many flavors, so many brands.. You want to cook pasta and because there is so much choice you want to pick the best sauce in order to make the best pasta.
After a couple of minutes, you realize that you are torn by the abundance of choice. Every label looks attractive, every flavor seems exotic.. How to make a decision?? You eliminate most of them and you are left to choose between two. After you cooked your pasta, you enjoyed the flavor and thus you enjoyed your choice. But you also think that maybe you could ve made a better decision if you had chosen the other brand of pasta. At that time you re no longer satisfied with the fact the your pasta turned out to be great,, you think that you could ve made it to be the best!!! You want to go back in time and change things. This is nothing serious but your mind playing tricks on you. Also its the abundance of choice.

I think that this is a good theory. I did find myself confused and hesitant many times when i had to make a decision. Sometimes I start watching television and find some interesting movie that is going on. Because there are thirty more channels that are playing other movies i find it hard to stick to one channel for a long time. My remote is really at work when i sit down to watch TV. I have an expectation that there is something better going on. This is the classic problem of expectations. Human beings often have high expectations. When these expectations get crushed by the waves of reality human beings feel unhappy. That doesnt mean we shouldn't build expectations. it means that we should approach our expectations with caution.. someone might say reach higher than you can throw.. that way you will reach the highest possible point. 'if you aim low then you won`t accomplish much'- that`s what we hear from time to time. So what should we really do?? How to live this life??? There is a way I think. The phrase - "Dream big" - means that you should have a big dream and that one day you might succeed at accomplishing it. but what if you won`t succeed? what if you ll find out that you have failed to realize your big dream? You will probably feel unhappy with yourself. You had some expectations about making your dream into reality. These expectations were crushed. Should you no longer have expectations?? I think that you do want to have dreams and expectations, because you want to be alive. I honestly don`t understand how it is possible to have low expectations. Will you work hard and be patient if your expectations are low? If you want to make something unique and then show it to other people and then get appraisal for it you will do your best at creating this thing. You expect that your work and effort will result in desired outcomes.. At the same time you have to acknowledge the fact that in this world not everything will be as you have planned. This is the balance of expectations. You can`t simply get rid of your high expectations because how will you progress then? how will you experience the process of growth? at the same time you should be aware of the potential failure of expectations, you should check them before they wreck you... Dark and light, wet and dry, good and bad - are all parts of one harmonious one. So I dont agree with the theory that you should have low expectations. And no matter how much you ll rationalize your attitude toward expectations, you will observe that we human beings tend to cling to positive high expectations all the time.. Its easier to wake up in the morning that way,,its easier to live..

quotes part 3

“The true felicity of life is to be free from anxieties and perturbations; to understand and do our duties to God and man, and to enjoy the present without any serious dependence on the future”
Seneca quotes

This is a great quote..Senecca couldn't say it better. Anxieties they are always in the air. Fears about future and worries about failed dreams often hold us back. You have a choice, either to go with fears and anxieties,, or to go with acceptance and patience to yourself and patience to the the world around you. An yes dont depend on future to start living your life. Some people wait for certain things to happen and only then they are ready to live and enjoy. They set conditions for themselves ---"Until i do this, or experience that or gain this,,i will not feel content with my life." The choice is yourss.......

QuoTeSS part 2

"I must govern the clock, not be governed by it."
Golda Meir

I think that in this quote it would make much sense to get rid off the letter "L" in the word "clock". I think that was the hidden message of rebellious Golda.



"Nothing ever goes away."
Barry Commoner

Barry was a very talkative person. He had one problem though, he didnt always finish the sentences. Berry we wish we could understand what you meant by this quote. it has so many interpretations,, and that my friend is no good. Sometimes i press the handle and flush it...due to a weak plumbing system in my building i often say "nothing ever goes away".

"I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes."
Charles Lindbergh

Charles what is the name of the last medicine that was prescribed to you? The reason I am asking is because i want to get a prescription too. I think it would bee cool to see yourself flying on some robin, which is like 300 times bigger than regular robins. It would be a whale-size robin. No gas, no oil, you just have to carry a bag of bread crumbs with you.

"Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in MMs: 250 "
Harper's Index

Thank you Harper`s index, Now I can get rid off all the fears about diabetic illnesses. I wonder how you came to such smart conclusion? I hope that you didn't do any funny experiments. You didnt eat all 250 MMs one by one with an interval of 5 minutes. That would ve been a tedious task. aw wait i think i know how u did it..u connected some sensors to your brain, then you ate one MM and then you looked at the monitor graph. Then you swallowed another MM and they again you looked at the monitor`s graph.By the 237th MM the world around you was no longer the same. Little MMs grew little hands and legs, they were running around the desk and the jar, playing with each other laughing just like the kids in the park do. Some of them were telling why they were blue, other why they were red. Right away some of them became your friends. Then something in you snapped and you became extremely violent, as a result you ate all of them.. You counted that it took two hundred and fifty of them to get back to normal state, which is the normal functioning of the brain.




Aldous Huxley:
"Your true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty -- his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure."

This is a great quote. How often we feel bored? all the time. Should we be upset about it? Probably no. Is it easy not being upset about being bored? No its not easy. Human beings that have experienced some great moments in life know that being bored is quite annoying. When you are driving in a super slow and super crowded bus you really do feel bored. I guess the trick is "acceptance",, as the author says.Two choices: resistance or acceptance. After all, no one promised you a life of many great adventures and million of good moments. Sometimes you re gona be bored,,and not simply bored,,but bored to death.

Bonaro W. Overstreet:

"Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves."

This is a very dangerous proposition. There are many people who have fear because they feel ashamed for their lives. They feel ashamed because they did something which was not right. They fear that wrong decision and action might cause unpleasant consequences. This is a very useful mechanism. It makes people more thoughtful and more responsible about the choices they make and beliefs they create.

Dead elephant was poisoned...

Dead elephant was poisoned, says Kiev zoo

"KIEV - The only elephant in Kiev's zoo, 39-year-old Boy, died Monday in his enclosure, apparently after being poisoned, the zoo's director said."

Its not clear who decided to poison such a nice elephant. Detectives and zoo keepers have no clue why someone would do that.
We started by poisoning kings and queens, then we poisoned presidents and other politicians, later on we poisoned CIA and KGB agents who knew too much, and now we got to ELEPHANTS!!! is this some kind of genetic trait, a desire to poison?? Maybe there is another side to this story. Maybe just maybe this elephant was mixed up in some mafia business. Or maybe he was farting too much and his farts were probably huge and toxic, the zoo keepers liked it when elephant farted. They were getting some kind of a buzz from the smell,, they were basically getting high. Late at night they would close the main gates of the zoo, they would bring chairs and place them near elephants` cage. Three minutes after the fart, their eyes would get red, their bodies would be completely relaxed... The elephant farted a lot throughout the night. The zoo keepers decided to make some profit. They brought more chairs and invited more people. Soon they were getting regular clients, people of all ages would come and enjoy the intoxication caused by the big animal. Grannys came because they had some bodily pains and elephant gases helped them to relieve the pain, middle aged men came because they wanted to get away from their noisy wives and they felt the need to submerge into magical farts, teens came because this was the cheapest way to get high and it wasnt so harmful. Soon more and more people were attracted to this pleasure giving zoo. Every night elephant`s cage would be surrounded by a large crowd of people. They would greet cheerfully and with applause the sound of elephant`s gas-release. Everything was going well, until one day alcohol, tobacco and drug dealers realized that their profits were getting lower and lower profits. They quickly found out what caused such low sales. During the day when elephant was sleeping and the zoo was pretty much empty some one threw poison inside the cage. later at night people started gathering by the cage, they were cheerful, they knew that they are about to sniff some of the finest elephant fart. But the elephant wouldn`t wake up. They tried to call him, they tried to poke him with a stick , still no response. People started to get angry, their hands started to shake and the ugly face of addiction started to show. Now the elephant is dead, people are heart broken, everything turned to shit. Mean while the liquor stores and other similar enterprises resumed the golden age of prosperity. A typical human story about how one group of people screws up the other one. Competition folks it`s all a part of competition. Follow my article and next week you ll read the story about how some old monkey grew monkey hair that released some unique smell. That smell forced men to fall in love. Every time a young men would pass a monkey`s cage he would then be obsessed with that monkey. He would bring her flowers, recite poems,he would give her blue ribbons that she so much adored... and of of course he would giver her more practical gifts such as bananas. However, one day the city wives would start noticing that their men have changed. Their men would grow cold and distant, they would be irritated and sexually unmotivated toward wives. What happens next to a charming monkey you will find out in my next article!!!!

Killer instinct

So i just read a news story about some guy who is selling old books from internet. In short, the guy is 45 years old and recently ha have sold some book, which on the web page was described as "in good condition". When he went to post office he realized that the book has some scratches and some marks..what ever.. Instead of selling the book for 6.95$ he sold it for 4.95$
He also told buyer that he was mistaken about the book`s condition and he apologizes and he sends buyer the check for 2.00$
I know you re probably thinking what a hell? Ants probably lead a more interesting life. The morale of the story is that you should be honest with your customers, you should not make them angry. The man admits that he doesnt make much money and the newspaper writer adds that this man doesnt have "a business killer instinct." What do you think?? Does that guy need to grow some balls and be more bold in this jungle world of our? Or he should simply follow the business ethic that he is following now? From one point of view it`s very strange. A 45 year old man sells some used books from his garage. It`s like his whole life he was buying and reading books and also storing them in his garage. And now the day has come,, the garage and all the books in it will feed the man!!!
Everything is set: amazon account, paypal account, small digital camera and some slow computer with a twenty year old keyboard. Even his computer starts feeling alive, the expectations of a brighter future for all are so close to reality. But there is a catch. The man is toooo nice, he wants to treat people justly,he wants a peace of mind.He respects his customers, he knows that nothing can buy a good sleep at night!! However, there is a paradox. He does not make enough money to live, his wife working as a teacher pays for the bills. Should he be more aggressive, should he be less honest, should he aim to make more dough instead of reaching for a peace of mind?? I remember how one famous director once said that when it comes to finding producers for the fil, and when it comes to find funding, it is necessary to lie. You can`t tell your potential sponsors that you are a making an artistic film that will be appreciated due to it`s depth and unique process of creation..something like that...No, you should tell them what they want to hear, you should convince them that the film will make lots of money and it will be another classic, it will be a super duper best seller.. you should not mention to them that you are planning to film your

Low libido in young women

"Not tonight, dear: Many young women are reporting that they have a low sexual desire."

Surprisingly this is not surprising. We men have felt this kind of a problem in women. You go to club or bar, you dance, talk, drink, flirt, and then you offer to do something more fun and she refuses. She comes up with excuses. She says -"call me". And then on the next day you get your hopes up and feel excited to call her.. she doesnt pick up, doesnt call back basically ignores your call. So now i understand.. its this rat-faced libido that has broken hopes of so many men. Man brings a flower, man buys a dinner, he buys wine, he says compliments, he wants to make love to her .. Woman likes flowers, she likes dinner, she adores compliments, she likes the man,, but she says " I am sorry Tom, i really really wanna do it,, but my libido is not in the mood, he is so low,,, he is dark, i am afraid we gona have to wait."

"While stress, depression and dysfunctional relationships are thought to contribute to decreased sex drive, it’s often antidepressants or birth control pills that are to blame."

This is confusing. If the girl takes birth control pills she probably wants to have sex, moreover, she loves to have sex because she wants not only to have sex but she wants to have an unprotected sex.. "Stress, depression" - any normal girl will understand that these two concepts are cured by the process of shagging. I am going to start my own shrink practice,, i will offer hot women a more direct way of eliminating depressions and stress.. They will scream from joy, they will cry from happiness, they will leave nail scratches on my back and hickeys on my neck. My office`s doors will open new dimensions for many fine ladies. My office`s couch will move back and forth every two seconds. My desk will be used for activities other than just writing a check or mailing a letter!!!

DRILLING

"Drilling",, do you like that word? I do and i dont. I like drilling when it takes place on some main street and curious people pass by and stare at the process. They look at drillers and they see a hard job, they see sweat,dirt, red skin, and also ear plugs!!!!

People also start to feel all comfy because they compare this hard labor to their job and they feel accomplished. I dont like "drilling" when my neighbor does it early in the morning. He has this passion, i guess, to wake up and drill. He has been drilling for over two years. I imagine that his apartment is all in holes, his walls, doors, maybe even toilet sit is covered with holes. I guess he likes holes. I wonder whats going to happen when every tenth of an inch will be covered in holes, there will no more space to drill another tiny hole. He ll probly be sixty by then. But lets say that he will complete such a silly thing in one year. A person like him will start looking for another terribly annoying activity. He will then start to cover the holes, one by one!!! What if he will get a girl friend??? Thats even worse, since he is a lover of holes!!! His girlfriend will be falling asleep during sexual act, because he will be so occupied with the hole that he will forget that it belongs to the whole organism of of his girlfriend. Maybe in a previous life he was a beaver. Not just a lower middle class beaver. But a beaver that was an accomplished beaver. He invested money in drilling holes market and later on he had lots of real estate. He was leasing holes to many other beavers. Sometimes my neighbor stops drilling... memories of the past life in which he was the hole drilling king consume him.. The feelings of melancholy and nostalgia occupy his soul,,, thats when he directs his vision into the corner where the drill`s battery is charging, he sees a green light, and places the battery into the drill, and presses the drilling trigger!!!

Biologist who wants to help salmon stocks grow

So heres the situation in British Columbia salmon stock has been decreasing. People are worried, they love their salmon. They feel scared about the possibility of never again tasting smoked salmon, cooked salmon and fresh salmon. They have nightmares in which they see the very last salmon who says "earth children, the salmon race is almost extinguished, we have been drugged for two long, we have lived in your concentration camps for two long, we were harvested to have sex and die under human knife, now its our turn to make you suffer..after i die i would like to be cremated with my ashes spread all over some lake." The biologist comes in and tries to convince the salmon to try this new breeding technique. The biologist is a man who has low salary, fat and frustrated wife, shitty old car and one rubber woman locked in his closet. He also loves to eat salmon, he realizes that without salmon his life is going to be even more shitty.. There is a chance, however, that salmon race will prosper and multiply. The biologist has to take this last salmon into lab and stick some tiny pipe into salmons`s ass and then transfer some sort of fluids. But salmon is like a native American, he/she doesnt believe in modern civilizations. Salmon says - "No, you evil spirit, my decision is to die and not give birth to future generations. I dont want my grandchildren to serve as pieces of salmon sushi." Later that day, biologist comes home, he sees his fat wife, his old car, his crappy apartment, worn out rubber woman, and he feels emptiness. He sits motionless and sad for ten minutes. Then suddenly he jumps, grabs his car keys, and rushes to his car. He does 75 on his 74 buick riding on some little street. He gets into his lab, he find a fish tank,and....
Meanwhile Salmon feels elevated for the first time in his life he/she was able to stand up to human oppression. Salmon was finally grasping that feeling of individuality when he felt that something strong has grabbed him and then something big was stuck into his anus. His eye almost popped out. He felt violated...in a matter of seconds his pride and honor were burned by the back and forth moving pipe.
Three month later, on rainy Saturday morning biologist woke up next to his wife. When he looked outside a window he saw his buick washed by rain. It was rather a sad morning. Biologist made five steps to the kitchen, he opened fridge and saw nicely packed smoked salmon. He stayed motionless for ten seconds and then he smiled in a very very happy way!!!

Apple gets nasty With Adobe

This is the headline of news on the http://www.pcworld.com/article/194811/apple_gets_nasty_with_adobe_over_flash.html

Adobe has flung plenty of mud at Apple for refusing to support Flash on the iPhone and iPad, and Apple's response has always been silence. Not anymore.

"Silence, i kill you"- as one comedian said. This is the situation when boyfriend realizes that he does not want to date his girlfriend, he does not call her back, he does not text her, slowly he dissapears. Girlfriend feels that lack of resposnse or lack of attention and she starts to lose her mind. First she begs to be with him, then she swears, then she cries and then she begs more. The boyfriend feels pity but he made up his mind he doesn`t want to lie to himslef, he wants somethng new. When boyfriend realizes that his ex-girlfriend still bothers him, he gets nasty. Apple and Adobe enjoyed the first stages of their relationship. They cheered and prospered. However, good times don`t last when two softwares start dating.
They begin to combine new technologies, they begin to have an unprotected sex. But as it often happens, Apple got tired of sex and wants to play solo for a while. Adobe is shocked. She enjoyed the time being spent together. But now she has to face the harsh reality. Too bad for us consumers, we could ve beared the fruits of two high-tech softwares.

FOOD INC

documentary 'Food Inc.', directed by Robert Kenner, makes you watch what you eat


Why these directors keep on filming these movies?? We all know that corporate America does pretty sick things to our food to our taxes and our medicine. we try not to think about these things and focus our attention on good things such as free condoms.

"Do you know how many poisons they spray on that apple to keep it looking that perfect?"

Of course we know, do you think we are fools?? They put poison anywhere where they can put it. I once had a terrible diarrhea from one little cucumber. Do u think that when we are thinking about buying a hot dog we say 'gosh i cant really make up my mind,, whats more important my hunger or my health?' When you are hungry you do not catch a cab or take three trains to get to the Whole Foods store. You get whats available.

"Did you see the kitchen where they made that salad?"

Is that the one that has two sinks and two toilets? The cooking table is located right near the toilet, that way you can do what you gotta do and the same time make some salad!!! makes sense right? How many people spend hours sitting on the toilet reading magazines? a lot. Instead they could be more productive..

It's disturbing, it's depressing and it could change the way you look at your next hamburger.

I never really spend time looking at my hamburger, we dont have a long,tiring conversations, we have a "NO STRINGS ATTACHED" relationship, he wants to take a wild journey in my intestines and I just want to silence my hunger.

NEWS discussion- bear stuck

Vermont bear with head stuck in milk can rescued

"It took a state biologist, firefighters and police about 45 minutes to free the bear's head from the can"

Wow it took about twenty people to handle this situation. What will happen if lets say grisley bear will get stuck in the can. Then Marines, Navy and couple of swat units will combine the effort of pulling the bear`s tail. Perhaps the reason that so many people are invloved is because they are dealing with the wild animal. Imagine a very drunk person who tries to get up from the floor, or who got stuck somewhere and is calling for help. He yells "HELP, I AM STUCKK, SOMEONE CALL POLICE AND FIREFIGHTERS,AND CALL A STATE BIOLOGIST WILL YA? I THINK I WAS BITTEN BY A POISONOUS ROBIN!!" In response he will hear - "SOrry man, they all left to help the bear."

"Hammond used soap to lubricate the bear's head so the can could be pulled off, but it didn't work. Firefighters helped him cut the can off."

I have always liked the word lubricate. It such a smooth word and it symbolizes a smooth ride in many aspects of life. we humans just love to lubricate things, we lubricate engines, bike chains, and many other interesting things. Sometimes we even decide to lubricate bears!!!


http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/pets/2010/04/21/2010-04-21_vermont_bear_with_head_stuck_in_milk_can_rescued.html

life and goals

What goal to choose? What passion to pursue? what path to take?
And finally whats the point of life?
Lets be honest we all think about some or all of these questions.
This is not another boring philosophical discussion. Its more like a shortcut. Many people say "having goals" is the only true point in life."Other people say-"being successful". What if later in life you realize that you have failed to accomplish your goals, you did not became successful? Should you say -'okay i am done,, life is not worth living and i did not live up to my dreams.. someone get me fifty pills of tylenol and six pack of beer and four pack of red bull and one last peperoni pizza and a prostitute to have fun. One person who lived in my building had done so. He is still alive, although he does have a bad case of diarrhea and he is scared to fart, he claims to be perfectly happy and he truly appreciates life.
In my opinion, no one really knows what the point of life...these questions have always bothered humanity,, and they never had easy,simple answers. And why look for them, once we will find them we will be deprived of this unique state of uncertainty. What is needed though is desire. Desires and wants and plans give us energy. They push us to be active, to force us to participate in this process of living.Every now and then we come up with new goals and associated desires. We find energy, we find time and we find will power to pursue these new goals.

"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

William Saffire

Now would you admit that this quote sounds confusing?? I had to read it two times. Very sloppy... Yeah 'sloppiness' is the word. Did you ever had that feeling when you want to slap someone who is trying to be a smart ass???
You decided that it is not a good idea to slap folks. In other words you chose apathy when you don`t know and you don`t care. Sounds almost poetic...But yea i once behaved with sloppiness and was later slapped,,,my behavior was outrages!!!I slipped once on the banana, i slid five feet and then hit the woman`s nose with my forehead. It was really an accident. However, woman`s husband was thinking in quite the opposite way. He approached me very quickly and started to make all sorts of weird karate moves,like he is about to hit me. Thank god there were not only one banana pill lying on the pavement. He fell really bad, he probably broke his ribs. At home i was feeling good, i was feeling comfy,

quotes voices

"The voice is nothing but beaten air." Senecca

Senecca obviously had an issue,, that he got when he was a teenager..
Someone had told him-"dude,,no hard feelings, but your voice is disgusting,,." Ever since he feels disgusted with that voice of his.
Women see him and they want him,,but he cant open his mouth, men come to him and offer drink, but he cant open his mouth, dogs bark at him but he can`t say "shish".. Then one day Senecca breaks down and weeps for a long long time...then he sees a rainbow and says "the voice is nothing but beaten air"





"Her voice was ever soft, Gentle, and low, an excellent thing in woman."
William Shakespeare

Yea William some women do have very pleasant voices,, they open their lips and the beautiful voice consumes you like a wave in ocean.. and you stand there in front of her numb and you cant make a word.. But some women have voices that are awful. Like she starts talking and you start wondering whether it`s really woman,,more likely a man. Woman that is completely frustrated,, have you heard that voice?? you know how in subway train conductor pulls brakes on the train and you hear a very terrifying sound and you feel that your ears are going to bleed,,well i would rather hear that than hear a voice of a frustrated woman.


"His voice was intimate as the rustle of sheets."
Dorothy Parker

Rustle of what sheets Dorothy? Toilet paper sheets? or sheets with green color and Franklin photo on them? The reason I am asking is because I really want to have an intimate voice, when i watch some video of myself i realize that my voice sucks. Perhaps what you describing is this --- "I asked him if he could buy me an expensive necklace,he hesitated, he hid his eyes by looking at the ground,,he hesitated some more.. he asked me if we could go to my place, i said that i am not feeling well.. he then took out a bundle of cash and said to cashier 'we ll take it' then he started to count the cash..His voice was intimate as the rustle of sheets"

NEWS discussion

British woman finds herself speaking with Chinese accent after recovering from migraine

Can you believe that such things happen??? I, as an immigrant living in America, hear no difference between Chinese and English accent. You know that feeling when you watch British film and you wonder what on earth are they talking about?? or when you go to order some Chinese food you hear Chinese language and you feel lost.. its one and the same feeling..so maybe that woman just started paying more attention to her English accent and came to conclusion that English and Chinese accents share similarities!!


"I have my ups and downs about this,." "The first few weeks it was quite funny, but to think I am stuck with this. My voice has started to annoy me now. It is not my voice."


Wow, this is very interesting. Just think about it, you go to sleep, and you think "aw well, another day." After eight hours pass, your alarm screams for attention,,carefully you pull out your hand underneath a warm blanket and you quietly press the button that stops the alarm. Being in a dreamy state you mumble "aw weeelll anoteer dayyyyy". Your husband jumps out of bed and nervously removes the blanket. He says "whats with the accent?"

Now why would that be a bad thing? Your life changes completely, everything changes. You go to work and people wonder whether its you or your twin sister that you have never told anything about. Everyone you see on daily basis asks you about Chinese accent. They ask you about your father and then about your mother and then they ask if any of your relatives are Chinese.All of a sudden people start paying attention to you, the monotony of their boring lives is now disrupted by these very strange news.

"I have had my friends hanging up on me because they think I'm a hoax caller,"

Now thats a bummer, your true and faithful friends are being a little bit racist. But looking at it from a different angle, its kinda cool. Sometimes friends call you when you dont want to talk to them, either you are busy or you want to enjoy the solitude. Your phone rings and all you have to do is say -"Broccoli Chicken restaurant, May i take your order?"

"I just want my own voice back, but I don't know if I will get it back," she said.


Ahha, now thats the trick of life. We dont cherish simple things while we got `em. We only appreciate these things when they are gone. This is an old story of a man that was walking on the street and he was extremely sad and hopeless that he saw no point in life. After deciding to end it all, he started to walk in direction of a tall bridge. On one of the intersections he saw a man of the same age, and surprisingly that man had a face that was very similar to his. Except that it was a face full of harmony. The man did not have two legs, he was rolling on some board with little wheels. He used his hands to push and roll. When one man who intended to kill himself, exchanged a long look with the other man who had no legs, the first man felt ashamed of himself. He had two straight, tall, hairy legs. These same legs attracted women on the beach, protected him against some biting dog, and also served him well when he had any plan of action. So the million dollar question is not whether you have a million dollars, but would you sell your two legs for ten millions of dollars??

As for this poor woman, I hope that she will get back to her clean British accent. Too bad she has migraines because this is the illness that knows no cure. The illness also causes changes in the area of brain that is responsible for speech,what is then called the Foreign Accent Syndrome.

http://www.healthjockey.com/2008/07/04/stroke-leads-to-change-in-the-accent-in-a-lady/

CHINESE NATION

"So chinese nation, whats about it?" - you may ask. Well, don`t u feel curious about the great ancient culture that is considered to be the oldest on this planet?? It seemed that just yesterday China was broke and over populated country and today it`s one of richest countries that occupies first place in the modern race of of progress!!! Chinese have solved the problem of hunger, they have solved the problem of severe poverty. But lets stop right here. I am not going to talk about the magnificence of China. What interests me the most is how western and eastern philosophies differ. You hear the word "philosophy" and you probably think - "oh gosh this isn`t for me." But try to hear me out for just a little longer and you will discover something new something you can share with your girlfriend when you will finally ran out of topics to discuss. So here the thing, I have recently talked to this one historian who told me the fundamental difference between western and eastern worlds. Western nations throughout the history believed in a hypothesis that the concept of after life really does exist. Hence, religious leaders encouraged us to live justly and avoid committing sins. Sex - was considered to be a sin. It was and still is considered to be a pleasure of the body. And pleasures of the body are bad, because religion tells us that we should reject bodily pleasures and that way we will enrich our souls. So there is two parts to our existence: soul and body.
Now lets look at Chinese model: Chinese people do not believe that there is a soul and they don`t believe there is heaven. They believe in this life, as the only life possible. They believe in the body and the energy that each body has. For them, world represents one big energy ball and all parts of the world have some kind of energy in them. Sex- for Chinese people, is concentrating of energy and upon orgasm- release of that energy. Why Chinese population grows so quickly?? One of the answers is because they do not think that human beings should block the release of energy, they should not block the sperm. Sperm as well as other fluids represent unique energy, and when male ejaculates sperm into female vagina, he transfers energy from his body into hers. I think this is a very interesting phenomenon about eastern culture. Let me know your opinion, what do you think about such information???

CHARACTER

You have probably noticed that there are a lot of different characters in this world. Its an interesting phenomenon, because at first it seems that we are all the same and only slightly different. But then you take a closer look and you see that - no- we are not all the same!!! There are many weird characters!! I know this guy who is basically my friend, but we dont talk much because he has some freaky character traits. I know him for over 7 years and during that period he hasn`t changed much.Lets call him Dude, so this so known character named Dude, is one of the laziest people living on this planet. In his entire life he hasn`t worked more than forty hours. Dude is constantly broke, on good day he has five bucks that his parents gave him. He is 23 years old, lives with his parents, and once in a blue moon attends a local community college. Moreover, he always wants to hang out. His daily procedure is to eat, drink, and then start calling all of the people listed in his phone book.Dude calls me every week and every week he says "lets hang out?" Last week it was really cold outside and he phoned me and asked me to chill. I tried to think of something to do because i didnt want to stay home. So i asked him if he wanted to go shoot some pool, or go play bowling, or even go to this cafe and try to pick up some girls there. DUde disliked all these options, it turns out he had 4 bucks on him and he wanted to use these little money to buy some beer at the grocery. All right- i said, but where do you want to drink that beer? He said-"outside on some bench at the park." The fact that a 33 mile freezing wind was blowing from the Atlantic ocean did not bother him at all.He is quite a character,,harsh weather conditions never get in his way of sitting on the park bench and sipping cold beer. many times i tried to talk to him about finding a job and having more in his pocket than five dollars. He does not listen to his parents or friends or even to his pocket that is tired of holding the same low amount of money. This dude always makes me wonder whether it`s possible to change one`s character. Maybe he wants to change but he just cant because this who he is..or maybe he doesnt even want to change,, he likes things just the way they are. I decided to look at some character quotes on internet in order to gather more understanding about his phenomenon of the character.

CHARACTER QUOTES:

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.
— Albert Einstein

Character, not circumstance, makes the person.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

To exercise good character daily is to be morally fit for life


Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Hellen Keller

Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures.

Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.

A man's character is his fate.

Character is simply habit long continued.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
— Unknown

remedy for depressions and mood swings

So you are lying on your bed and thinking - what a hell?? why am I so miserable? or you asking yourself whats the point of it all? is there a point?? your whole body feels heavy, no energy left...u cant even lift your right arm or move your eye brow..the only thing you are capable of - is a nice loud fart.. well, my friend fortunately for you there is a solution. it does require some initial effort. you have to gather your last energy and fart again!! now, you realize that you are happy and cheerful again right?? lol.. i m joking, farting sometimes could really take your mind of more complex things but its no ultimate solution..the ultimate solution is to get the last drop of energy in you, cling to your will, and get yourself out of the apartment...once you are outside you are no longer surrounded by the gloom walls of your cave. whats next?? SPORTS. get on the bicycle and start pedaling in any direction. while u re pedaling you re experiencing the process of motion. you re also engaging into physical activity, and hence you are producing endorphins, those little guys that fight off depressions and basically make you feel fresh!!!! even if you feel lazy or tired or emotionally incapable, make yourself do it- jog or ride a bike or play some b-ball...ita gona be hard at first but you have to think about results, the afterward effect of a good work out really pays off. I personally hate gyms,, i love parks, lots of green trees, unique paths, ponds and of course hot women jogging. Riding my bike in the park has never failed to cure my bad moods..and it also made me sleep like a baby!!!!

who let the dogs out???

On Thursday at 7:45, my alarm did not fail. It produced a signal that is closely associated with responsibilities of a real life. My dream world has just ended unexpectedly. I was having some pretty pleasant dreams; they were full of some weird moments, places, faces, basically it was a sort of psychological salad. Then, I kind of remember some woman, than another woman, and some people I know. It was very unclear, but I liked it. It gave me a change from my every day life.

The life is made of days, every day is a small life. If you would read some “day” quotes on internet you would see that people have some optimistic approaches when it come to life. They say that you should wake up and cherish your day as though its the last day. I think its an overly optimistic approach to life. The usual approach is also cool: you see life as a pointless repetition of typical days. Its like watching the same video on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. When you get to Thursday you think to yourself –“no, no, no, I saw that video already.” Then you turn off your alarm. And then you engage into the world of dreams for another couple of hours. By 11 or 12 you open you eyes, look around, and feel good about not watching that old video you ve been watching four days in a row.

That’s exactly how I felt on Thursday at 11:40am. Somehow I decide to take the day off, and do something different. Uptown Brooklyn and all of it`s neighborhoods have this depressing atmosphere, the blocks seem to be so similar and boring that one wants to kill himself.. I decided to escape that maze of irritating blocks. I went to Prospect Park. Prospect park is huge and full of wilderness. It`s like a beautiful oasis in the desert called Brooklyn.

Entering the Prospect Park, I noticed some man and woman riding horses; I thought that some people surely do know how to spend their Thursdays. Once I started walking on the main path I saw some professional bicyclists passing by, then some pregnant women, women with baby carriages, some attractive skinny women, some fat women, some old men-all sweaty and exhausted from jogging, and so far and so on. There were animals too. While passing the lake I saw many gooses,swans, floating on the surface, diving, and playing with each other. Squires jumped all over the trees, ants ran in all directions, an eagle was flying high in the sky. On the ground, under the bench, I saw two snails, one on top of another, it looked more like a snail-doggy style, or maybe snails have their own terms when it comes to sex positions. Sometimes I wish I was a snail, no hurry, no hastiness, take half a day to get to your girlfriend and then another half a day to come. Somewhere in the bushes a chipmunk have showed his face. He had a curious look, or may be he was afraid; after all I was a big giant compared to him. At least I get to be a giant once in while. After long walk and different observations I felt hungry. I left the park and headed toward one of the main streets. I spotted a shishkebab place. After 15 minutes and 6 dollars the chicken shishkebab was all nicely packed in a white bag. I looked for a perfect place to eat. I have found this great bench with a nice view of the park. As I started eating, I realized the color of the sauce on the shishkebab sandwich was somewhat unusual. It was way to white for a sauce, for I minute I thought that it was some kind of a paint. After first bite I realized that something is wrong with the meat. Instead of tasting like chicken it tasted like chipmunk. I never tried a chipmunk but I could imagine that they do not taste good. I got really disappointed because I invested six dollars in some shady shishkebab. Well life is life, I thought. I had no choice but to get rid of the chicken pieces and eat the bread. So I threw all the pieces under the bench. Usually I would not do that, but there were no garbage cans around. While I was eating the bread, I saw a very pretty girl walking down the path with her dog. Her dog was very big and kind of funny looking. As they were passing me, the dog made a sudden jump toward my bench. Fortunately it was on the leash, and the girl pulled it back. Then another pretty girl was walking her dog, and her dog showed a great interest in me as well. He wanted to come closer, but the woman pulled him back. Then some old man with some old dog, were slowly approaching my bench. Neither man nor dog had any facial expressions; they both looked tired of life.. it seemed that they quietly knew that their days will soon be over. All of sudden this old dog jumps to my bench and starts sniffing all over the place. This dog became so alive and energetic, his nose was like a vacuum tube. Then I realized that there were all these pieces of chicken under my bench. Dogs love to eat. Eating meat for them is like a number one source of pleasure. If a dog would discover a genie lamp, he or she would use all three wishes for getting three pieces of cooked chicken.

After some time I started to really enjoy myself. I mean look at it this way, you re sitting on the bench and many nice girls are walking with their dogs, dogs sense the chicken and start pulling toward my bench. While the girl tries to persuade the dog to keep moving I take a real fine look at the girl`s equipment. Once in a while I would compliment girls in different ways, they would smile and exchange a few words with me. Basically I found a way for meeting new girls, and it was a cheap way, only six dollars.

Next Thursday my morning class got canceled and so I decided to look for a shishkebab place in my neighborhood. After buying a shishkebab on the bread, I went to Seethers bay. Seethers bay is this walking path by the ocean. Many people like to take walks with their dogs over there. This time the shishkebab was pretty good and I ate half of it, maybe even more than that. Once again I threw a few pieces of meat under my bench. While the world scientists and astronauts were conducting serious experiments and difficult procedures, I was experimenting with the theory of how shishkebab pieces could get you laid. I understood that my work might not be accredited, my name might not be published in journals and large corporations will not offer me zillion of dollars. Despite all that I still decided to pursue this dangerous task. Not all dogs were small, and not all dogs were properly fed by their owners, some of them had very scary looking eyes. For them it wasn`t just a piece of meat lying on the sidewalk. They see meat as humans see a bundle of hundred dollar bills dropped by a rich man. While I was thinking about dogs, I noticed a beautiful woman walking with a dog. She was probably in her middle thirty's, she had calm expression on her face. She looked at ocean and occasionally at her dog. Her dog ignored the ocean, ignored the woman and everything else in the world except the smell of shishkebab. Suddenly the dog pulled towards the meat pieces and the woman had difficulty trying to pull the dog back. The dog was determined to get these pieces, it was a pretty strong boxer. The woman lost almost all control of her pet, she looked terrified because she thought that dog wants to attack me. The dog started to show it teeth and make all sorts of angry noises.I was loosing my confidence. I wished that this lady would finally let her dog go under the bench and eat all the meat. But the lady was not interested in dog`s wishes, she wanted the dog to obey her. Mean while, some guy was slowly riding a bike and he had two Dobermans running by his side. The man looked at the situation and decided to ignore it, two Dobermans sensed the meat and thought that ignorance is not a good quality. Right away they jumped toward my bench, right away the realized that before they could engage in the pleasure of eating meat they would have to deal with the Boxer. The Boxer was furious he did not want to take shit from no one, not from his lady nor from Dobermans. I could not believe that I got mixed up in the dog beef. I was supposed to sit in biology class and listen to professor bubble about fungi. Instead I was in a middle of serious dog conflict. People were gathering around to see how my russian ass will get ripped in pieces. I could see how one guy bet ten bucks on dobermans while another guy bet twenty on the boxer, and some smart old woman bet thirty bucks on me leaving without my testicles. While boxer and Dobermans barked at each other and were getting ready to fight, other passing dogs also showed an interest in the occurring conflict. The lady looked really scared, the guy with the bicycle looked like dumping the bicycle and jumping in the water. I felt like I am in the middle of some horror movie, in which all the dogs in town had some crazy disease and they were all trying to take over humans. Next second the dogs started to fight aggressively. I jumped back on the grass. While getting up I saw that the lady fainted and the whole situation was a huge mess. I quickly took off. I ran through the whole path and then I ran through streets, I was terrified. I finally reached my apartment, opened the door and fell on my bed. It took me some time to calm down, I reached for the remote, my hands were still trembling, I turned on the TV. On the thirty seven inch TV I saw a huge dog black dog barking, it was an animal channel. Right at that second my friend Jacob called me and asked me if I want to go to Brighton and eat some good shish kebab!!!