who let the dogs out???

On Thursday at 7:45, my alarm did not fail. It produced a signal that is closely associated with responsibilities of a real life. My dream world has just ended unexpectedly. I was having some pretty pleasant dreams; they were full of some weird moments, places, faces, basically it was a sort of psychological salad. Then, I kind of remember some woman, than another woman, and some people I know. It was very unclear, but I liked it. It gave me a change from my every day life.

The life is made of days, every day is a small life. If you would read some “day” quotes on internet you would see that people have some optimistic approaches when it come to life. They say that you should wake up and cherish your day as though its the last day. I think its an overly optimistic approach to life. The usual approach is also cool: you see life as a pointless repetition of typical days. Its like watching the same video on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. When you get to Thursday you think to yourself –“no, no, no, I saw that video already.” Then you turn off your alarm. And then you engage into the world of dreams for another couple of hours. By 11 or 12 you open you eyes, look around, and feel good about not watching that old video you ve been watching four days in a row.

That’s exactly how I felt on Thursday at 11:40am. Somehow I decide to take the day off, and do something different. Uptown Brooklyn and all of it`s neighborhoods have this depressing atmosphere, the blocks seem to be so similar and boring that one wants to kill himself.. I decided to escape that maze of irritating blocks. I went to Prospect Park. Prospect park is huge and full of wilderness. It`s like a beautiful oasis in the desert called Brooklyn.

Entering the Prospect Park, I noticed some man and woman riding horses; I thought that some people surely do know how to spend their Thursdays. Once I started walking on the main path I saw some professional bicyclists passing by, then some pregnant women, women with baby carriages, some attractive skinny women, some fat women, some old men-all sweaty and exhausted from jogging, and so far and so on. There were animals too. While passing the lake I saw many gooses,swans, floating on the surface, diving, and playing with each other. Squires jumped all over the trees, ants ran in all directions, an eagle was flying high in the sky. On the ground, under the bench, I saw two snails, one on top of another, it looked more like a snail-doggy style, or maybe snails have their own terms when it comes to sex positions. Sometimes I wish I was a snail, no hurry, no hastiness, take half a day to get to your girlfriend and then another half a day to come. Somewhere in the bushes a chipmunk have showed his face. He had a curious look, or may be he was afraid; after all I was a big giant compared to him. At least I get to be a giant once in while. After long walk and different observations I felt hungry. I left the park and headed toward one of the main streets. I spotted a shishkebab place. After 15 minutes and 6 dollars the chicken shishkebab was all nicely packed in a white bag. I looked for a perfect place to eat. I have found this great bench with a nice view of the park. As I started eating, I realized the color of the sauce on the shishkebab sandwich was somewhat unusual. It was way to white for a sauce, for I minute I thought that it was some kind of a paint. After first bite I realized that something is wrong with the meat. Instead of tasting like chicken it tasted like chipmunk. I never tried a chipmunk but I could imagine that they do not taste good. I got really disappointed because I invested six dollars in some shady shishkebab. Well life is life, I thought. I had no choice but to get rid of the chicken pieces and eat the bread. So I threw all the pieces under the bench. Usually I would not do that, but there were no garbage cans around. While I was eating the bread, I saw a very pretty girl walking down the path with her dog. Her dog was very big and kind of funny looking. As they were passing me, the dog made a sudden jump toward my bench. Fortunately it was on the leash, and the girl pulled it back. Then another pretty girl was walking her dog, and her dog showed a great interest in me as well. He wanted to come closer, but the woman pulled him back. Then some old man with some old dog, were slowly approaching my bench. Neither man nor dog had any facial expressions; they both looked tired of life.. it seemed that they quietly knew that their days will soon be over. All of sudden this old dog jumps to my bench and starts sniffing all over the place. This dog became so alive and energetic, his nose was like a vacuum tube. Then I realized that there were all these pieces of chicken under my bench. Dogs love to eat. Eating meat for them is like a number one source of pleasure. If a dog would discover a genie lamp, he or she would use all three wishes for getting three pieces of cooked chicken.

After some time I started to really enjoy myself. I mean look at it this way, you re sitting on the bench and many nice girls are walking with their dogs, dogs sense the chicken and start pulling toward my bench. While the girl tries to persuade the dog to keep moving I take a real fine look at the girl`s equipment. Once in a while I would compliment girls in different ways, they would smile and exchange a few words with me. Basically I found a way for meeting new girls, and it was a cheap way, only six dollars.

Next Thursday my morning class got canceled and so I decided to look for a shishkebab place in my neighborhood. After buying a shishkebab on the bread, I went to Seethers bay. Seethers bay is this walking path by the ocean. Many people like to take walks with their dogs over there. This time the shishkebab was pretty good and I ate half of it, maybe even more than that. Once again I threw a few pieces of meat under my bench. While the world scientists and astronauts were conducting serious experiments and difficult procedures, I was experimenting with the theory of how shishkebab pieces could get you laid. I understood that my work might not be accredited, my name might not be published in journals and large corporations will not offer me zillion of dollars. Despite all that I still decided to pursue this dangerous task. Not all dogs were small, and not all dogs were properly fed by their owners, some of them had very scary looking eyes. For them it wasn`t just a piece of meat lying on the sidewalk. They see meat as humans see a bundle of hundred dollar bills dropped by a rich man. While I was thinking about dogs, I noticed a beautiful woman walking with a dog. She was probably in her middle thirty's, she had calm expression on her face. She looked at ocean and occasionally at her dog. Her dog ignored the ocean, ignored the woman and everything else in the world except the smell of shishkebab. Suddenly the dog pulled towards the meat pieces and the woman had difficulty trying to pull the dog back. The dog was determined to get these pieces, it was a pretty strong boxer. The woman lost almost all control of her pet, she looked terrified because she thought that dog wants to attack me. The dog started to show it teeth and make all sorts of angry noises.I was loosing my confidence. I wished that this lady would finally let her dog go under the bench and eat all the meat. But the lady was not interested in dog`s wishes, she wanted the dog to obey her. Mean while, some guy was slowly riding a bike and he had two Dobermans running by his side. The man looked at the situation and decided to ignore it, two Dobermans sensed the meat and thought that ignorance is not a good quality. Right away they jumped toward my bench, right away the realized that before they could engage in the pleasure of eating meat they would have to deal with the Boxer. The Boxer was furious he did not want to take shit from no one, not from his lady nor from Dobermans. I could not believe that I got mixed up in the dog beef. I was supposed to sit in biology class and listen to professor bubble about fungi. Instead I was in a middle of serious dog conflict. People were gathering around to see how my russian ass will get ripped in pieces. I could see how one guy bet ten bucks on dobermans while another guy bet twenty on the boxer, and some smart old woman bet thirty bucks on me leaving without my testicles. While boxer and Dobermans barked at each other and were getting ready to fight, other passing dogs also showed an interest in the occurring conflict. The lady looked really scared, the guy with the bicycle looked like dumping the bicycle and jumping in the water. I felt like I am in the middle of some horror movie, in which all the dogs in town had some crazy disease and they were all trying to take over humans. Next second the dogs started to fight aggressively. I jumped back on the grass. While getting up I saw that the lady fainted and the whole situation was a huge mess. I quickly took off. I ran through the whole path and then I ran through streets, I was terrified. I finally reached my apartment, opened the door and fell on my bed. It took me some time to calm down, I reached for the remote, my hands were still trembling, I turned on the TV. On the thirty seven inch TV I saw a huge dog black dog barking, it was an animal channel. Right at that second my friend Jacob called me and asked me if I want to go to Brighton and eat some good shish kebab!!!