Dead elephant was poisoned...

Dead elephant was poisoned, says Kiev zoo

"KIEV - The only elephant in Kiev's zoo, 39-year-old Boy, died Monday in his enclosure, apparently after being poisoned, the zoo's director said."

Its not clear who decided to poison such a nice elephant. Detectives and zoo keepers have no clue why someone would do that.
We started by poisoning kings and queens, then we poisoned presidents and other politicians, later on we poisoned CIA and KGB agents who knew too much, and now we got to ELEPHANTS!!! is this some kind of genetic trait, a desire to poison?? Maybe there is another side to this story. Maybe just maybe this elephant was mixed up in some mafia business. Or maybe he was farting too much and his farts were probably huge and toxic, the zoo keepers liked it when elephant farted. They were getting some kind of a buzz from the smell,, they were basically getting high. Late at night they would close the main gates of the zoo, they would bring chairs and place them near elephants` cage. Three minutes after the fart, their eyes would get red, their bodies would be completely relaxed... The elephant farted a lot throughout the night. The zoo keepers decided to make some profit. They brought more chairs and invited more people. Soon they were getting regular clients, people of all ages would come and enjoy the intoxication caused by the big animal. Grannys came because they had some bodily pains and elephant gases helped them to relieve the pain, middle aged men came because they wanted to get away from their noisy wives and they felt the need to submerge into magical farts, teens came because this was the cheapest way to get high and it wasnt so harmful. Soon more and more people were attracted to this pleasure giving zoo. Every night elephant`s cage would be surrounded by a large crowd of people. They would greet cheerfully and with applause the sound of elephant`s gas-release. Everything was going well, until one day alcohol, tobacco and drug dealers realized that their profits were getting lower and lower profits. They quickly found out what caused such low sales. During the day when elephant was sleeping and the zoo was pretty much empty some one threw poison inside the cage. later at night people started gathering by the cage, they were cheerful, they knew that they are about to sniff some of the finest elephant fart. But the elephant wouldn`t wake up. They tried to call him, they tried to poke him with a stick , still no response. People started to get angry, their hands started to shake and the ugly face of addiction started to show. Now the elephant is dead, people are heart broken, everything turned to shit. Mean while the liquor stores and other similar enterprises resumed the golden age of prosperity. A typical human story about how one group of people screws up the other one. Competition folks it`s all a part of competition. Follow my article and next week you ll read the story about how some old monkey grew monkey hair that released some unique smell. That smell forced men to fall in love. Every time a young men would pass a monkey`s cage he would then be obsessed with that monkey. He would bring her flowers, recite poems,he would give her blue ribbons that she so much adored... and of of course he would giver her more practical gifts such as bananas. However, one day the city wives would start noticing that their men have changed. Their men would grow cold and distant, they would be irritated and sexually unmotivated toward wives. What happens next to a charming monkey you will find out in my next article!!!!